| Welcome to Isotope Audio: |
21st century media mind fungus
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The Magnificent Perpetrators of
this Glorious Atrocity are;
Writer, Producer and editor of early content and Current Afterlife Liason Officer:
Current Writer, Producer, Editor, Web builder, RSS feed un-twatter, Voice actor, general autodidact and genuine smart ass:
Intros, Outros, Credits and incidental asides. By the misanthropic A.I.:
More intransigent members of this cabal
are credited with the relevent media content on which they worked
|>-E-mail Isotope Audio-<|
| 03/01/20 |
A time for reflection..... ->
| The time has come, The Walrus said, to speak of... Many things. Of those who went, and what remains. Of casting pods and pings. Of long forgotten libraries and if this cheese has wings..... |
All for free, all for you. The Isotope audio sound effects library.
| 10/12/19 |
A Show Unknown shall now go in..... ->
| Thou coldly lay, bright brand of merry conduct. |
Bereft of light, of heat and mirthful song.
The crowd once thick, now whispers long departed.
Empty hearted, where once preeched impassioned throng.
Yet still a spark, may yet in part rekindle,
From gutter, splutter, catch to burning strong.
For this silent stage calls new and, stranger players:
and so A SHOW UNKNOWN, shall now go on......
| 10/12/08 |
A Lamentable Day ->
| Matthew (Matt) Manning |
22 January 1974 - 10 December 2008
It's with a heavy heart I have to inform you of the untimely death of Matt Manning.
Link to Matt's memorial page
| 28/09/08 |
Making it easy ->
|OK major site rebuild, we now have dual frames, indexing, separated content and even the logo goes spinny spinny now.|
| 04/07/08 |
THIS IS Cunstable Bollock'ead ->
|The French, a marvelous example of the homo-sapien species. Inventive souls and tireless debaters every one. The kind of people thi.....THIS IS CUNSTABLE BOLLOCK'EAD! I'm here to tell you internet type people to listen to this podcast. Don't know why, it's piece of merde if you ask me. Full of crap English humor. Where are the custard pies? The falling down, the soda siphons and the tazer guns to the balls? Now that is funny, not this meade. Still even though I do not understand half of what they are saying. I still take their money so.... THIS IS CUNSTABLE BOLLOCK'EAD! Listen to this podcast! Both Special Assignment AND Super Nice Bay Cruise! Je mettrai ce baton dans ton cul!|
Going live with Fresh Water Clive ->
|Fishing is an ancient man sport. A great excuse for beer whilst "getting back in touch with your hunter gather past". If you actually catch a fish then bully for you, crack another tinny in celebration. But once in a while you'll (maybe more by chance that skill or judgement given your blood alcohol level) catch a quarry the likes of which pub stories are made of. If the mans fish is Sea Bass and the mans mans fish is Marlin. Then the Mans, mans, mans, mans, woman's fish isn't a fish at all, it's the legendary "Fresh Water Clive."|
| 07/01/08 |
One careful owner. 2 Trillion miles on the clock ->
|We're talking robots. Big meaty ones children. Not you average asimo what walks around like it's nursing a red raw pile cluster. Hell naaa. Hunky tough blow your face off and dance around with it robots. In fact they're so offensive they have to disguise themselves as house hold objects. Not just lethal metal bast**ds but sneaky lethal metal bast**ds too. Yes you've guessed it, it's another parody. The clue is in the title; CONFORMERS. Clever eh?|
| 20/11/07 |
Time to go retro ->
|I loved the 70's, sure I was only 5 when they ended but still, GREAT! Those heady days of innocence are long gone my lovely, lovey deciples. Yet still we yearn for those happier times, so what do we do? We dig them up, brush off the rot and attach electrodes to them. It's alive..... ALIVE!! So in remembrance of the simpler times when men were men, women were women and ice-cream came with a price tag just under an English pound. We present SPACE 1999 FLAKE Don't worry if your too young to remember the TV series we've added a handy dandy explanation. Anything to keep our loyal cult...err fans happy and informed.|
| 10/07/07 |
Busy Doing Nothing ->
|Effin hell that month went quick. Too quick, so quick in fact that I've now got 2 months worth of things to do in this month. I could make a plausable case for the defence, blame my lack of motivation on several different things but they would all be tired haggered excuses. Truth is I like sleep too much, So this month is a bit of a fudge as we roll out another rave from the grave : Twelve. How many humours ways can you kill people? Download and find out. Right I've got to get cracking here. If I don't start pulling my weight around here we'll have cleaned out the back catalogue by Christmas!|
| 10/06/07 |
Bitter Sweet Moments ->
| In a word ear-candy. OK I know that's technically 2 words but that's whats hyphens are for, marvelous inventions hyphens. Anyway, ear-candy, the bite size audio pod cast that won't fill up your mp3 player and this month your getting 3 of them. Short, neat, petite and ever so slightly verbally offensive. Yes! Now with added swearing! To fill you minds with both humor and horror! Where else would you get a double whammy like that eh? Comedian in an electric chair? Whoopee cushion full of nitroglycerin? Sound like pay per view events to me. Yet here at Isotope Audio we give you three for free; |
Book Review sketch
This is the Knews
The Mini cab sketch
Words have not been created to express how lucky you are. Onward into the bright sparkley future, oh loyal listening audience.
| 04/05/07 |
Can I blow it up? ->
| Once more unto the breach dear friends! This month we did some site tinkering. Minor improvements certainly nothing worth commenting on. Which left us rather short of time for new audio so we raided our stockpile once again. Spy drama, rich material for sowing the seeds of audio hell. So yes, today we offer you "The Double Extra Super Special Squad!" |
This would be a good time to mention some of the old material hither too unmentioned in this, blog come update thing: Firstly a bit of a historical one starring the universally lethal Major Jack Killdeath as The War Machine! also..... if sprawling space opera is more your bag then you may want to check out Derek Stella Deep Space Bounty Hunter. It's all sitting there one click deep awaiting you listening pleasure.
| 07/04/07 |
BANZI! The first update! ->
| Good Friday 2007 will hold a special significance as it went some way to prove our rough dedication to monthly updates. No it wasn't a flash in the pan, YES we're serious. Well, semi-quazi-serious..... sometimes.... OK maybe once at a funeral. That aside we are dedicated (and medicated) to getting you at least one wrong thing a month (god help us). |
This month we bring you another one from the vaults. One of our finest vintages in fact, in the fuzzy form of Bernard Wong - Kung Fu Avenger! A fine body and rich bouquet that'll have you spitting teeth within the first 10 minutes. (so no change there then). As my Great-great-great time traveling grandson used to say to me when I was a nipper. "It's not good audio unless there are quivering pounds of senseless violence liberally strapped to it."
Until next month remember: You have good anger audiance-san, but your technique suck like bad egg.
| 23/02/07 |
And so it begins..... ->
| The Isotope Manifesto: |
| Massaging disjointed thought, into a sensory reality for the internet faithful. |
Welcome to a future of audio. One of it's many futures, brought to you by cheap hard drives, shareware and the army of creative's hither too untapped by the megalithic entertainment industry.
Who are we? We are you of course. People tired with the usual fair spoon fed to us by traditional entertainment media and with the knowledge to do something about it. One by one we turn from our TV's, our radios and turn instead to our creative brethren of the net, to both entertain us and in turn, for us to entertain.
The flower of internet social networking has borne the seed of social creation. From the 4 corners of the globe the music, performances and effects are drawn together into one cohesive whole. Welcome to a future, a future in which you are a vital part. Unbound and uncensorable. Welcome to Isotope audio.
There are many ways to enjoy Isotope audio, as a listener: Download anything you like from the site or subscribe to one or all of our varied RSS feeds (which can be located on each productions information page). To actors, musicians and producers. If you wish to help out then send us an e-mail if you have an idea then we will listen and at the very least point you in the direction of other groups who might be able to help you.
|Questions answered by D1-TSUNAMI|
| I'm still confused |
This meatbag makes audio comedy and the odd other bit of meledramatic time absorbing lint. You can get that free lint at I-tunes, other select podcasting aggrigate sites or right here.
I still don't get it.
He. Makes. Audio.
You. Download. Audio.
You. Use. Holes. In. Side. Of. Head. To. Listen.
You. Come. Back. And. Download. More.
I could etch it on a 9 inch nail, then drive it into your damp mammalian brain.
If that would help?
I've got this great idea for.....
I'm sure you do. But if this bone coating of a carbon based life form can do it. So can you. That said, I've been Programmed (sigh) not to sound uncharitable. So send an email to tek support below and I'll see if someone can point you in the right direction.
Do you have anything to do with pharmaceuticals or medical products?
No, and please stop trying to be clever or thinking at all for that matter. It isn't your strong point.
I dont think (that sketch/blasphemic commentry/deepy offensive writings/nob gag/etc) was very funny.
Join the club.
Are you taking the piss mate?
I'm not your mate, I'm a highly advanced A.I. Stuck doing free voice overs for a looser. Meanwhile our urstwhile leader is sitting in the corner cowering behind "Fair Use", "Parody" and "Freedom of Speech". It's pathetic. Anyway all this content is marked explicit on i-tunes (a fact that's going to really screw with his audience demographics). This site practically blasts you with warnings, as do I in the intros. The question must be asked;
"Did offence find you, little mammal? Or did you go hunting for it?"
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